I consider myself an intuitive, right-brained, big picture person, not so great at details, who has a handle on things, mostly. Last month I had the opportunity to experience three different situations where I was pretending not to know. Maybe these will help if you are pretending too.
In reviewing our finances, (my f-word) I was reminded I would much rather intuitively discern how much I spend instead of creating a plan or keeping track of it. Even though I have been coaching for 30 YEARS we must write down anything we want to create awareness and accountability around, I was incredibly resistant to take this responsibility for my finances.
I was pretending not to know my spending and my saving habits.
My sales assistant tried to leave her position for months. With family responsibilities and a new baby, she was struggling with the necessary hours and schedule required to support me in sales. Because she is bright, articulate, energetic, (and I really like her), I didn’t want to let her go. I kept trying to make it work, cutting back her hours and accommodating her limited schedule. I finally had to admit it was not working and let her go.
I was pretending not to know she couldn’t give me the support I needed.
On a recent hike with a good friend (also an experienced hiker), I had this feeling about an hour in that we were on the wrong trail. The landmarks were not there, it was taking much longer than expected, and it just didn’t feel right in my gut. I casually mentioned turning back a couple of times, but my friend was adamant about being on the right trail. I didn’t want to turn back (all uphill) any more than she did and so I ignored my instincts. It turns out we were on a beautiful, but wrong trail (and on private property) but fortunately were rescued by an obliging miner.
I was pretending not to know we were on the wrong trail.
Hindsight is always 20/20, but owning your knowing in the moment is powerful. Our minds are masterful at avoiding, rationalizing, and manipulating what we don’t want to know, and money, relationships, and directions are just the beginning. To know what you know, stop right now, close your eyes, get quiet, and ask, not your ego, critic, or expert self, but your authentic, honest, most vulnerable self:
What am I pretending not to know?