I am listening to Joe Dispenza talk about how the mind works and how our subconscious (90-95%) is so much more influential on our feelings than our conscious (5-10%). He says we get addicted to certain thoughts, which then make us feel a certain way, the body remembers it and we repeat the cycle over and over again. So we have to change our thoughts in order to change how we feel, which of course changes how we behave.
What feeling are you addicted to? My most familiar one is feeling “not good enough.” When I think about writing my third book and having to market it to agents, publishers, and finally to readers, I feel overwhelmed, small, full of fear and doubt, and that maybe I just don’t have anything that interesting to say. And even if I did, all that work involved! The time, energy, and gut- wrenching pain and suffering involved with writing, and that is just on the good days! And then when the resistance sets in and you have writer’s block, paralyzed with fear and doubt, and you would much rather be in your garden than at your computer on a sunny 70-degree day. Wandering mind, distractions galore.
When this circle of thoughts, feelings and behaviors sets in, it’s time to think better than I feel. I have to remember why I am doing this: Because I want to help more people go from chaos to calm in their lives. Because I want to make a difference in a bigger way than just talking about it; I want people to have a book they can keep and refer back to. I also know that through the process of writing I get clearer in my own life, as well as helping others become clearer in theirs. I know that the way I look at things can help others because my clients, students, and audience have let me know. I choose to do this not because it’s easy, but because I know it will bring me joy and peace and a grace I am familiar with, but won’t have until the book is written. So today, even in the midst of my fear, I stop and remind myself to think better than I feel.
I think better than I feel when I:
- Set my intentions for the day, i.e., write 1,000 words or write for 60 minutes
- Believe I can do it
- Visualize myself doing it
- Read or listen to something inspirational
- Make the old pros and cons list of what if and what if not?
- Remember the muse is a prickly b*@#! and I have to show up for her to show up
- Remind myself that thinking better than I feel is the ultimate act of self-love
- Practice-every day
So how about you? What are you trying to accomplish, change, shift, alter, or improve in your life right now? Whether it is writing a book, getting to the gym, or working through an issue in your marriage, to change, really change how you feel about it (and we all have those moments/days/years), instead of getting stuck in feeling so negative (scared, sad, depressed, angry, bored, doubtful, second-guessing, overwhelmed) that you think you just can’t do it, you need to stop and remind yourself to think better than you feel. Try practicing at first for just 5 minutes and see what happens. And let me know too!